This November the hubby and I will have been married for 5 years! I know to some of you this doesn’t seem like a long time, but to us… it means we are doing it right! Both of us come from families that may not all have the best marriages. So when we said “I DO”, it was a decision we came into with full force and big expectations. We wanted to make it work, no matter what!
I’m by no means saying that I know it all, especially coming from a broken home and only being married for 5 years myself. And I certainly do not think that if a marriage fails, it means they failed… I think it means that they simply fell off the tracks and for one reason or another found that they weren’t a good fit for each other. We just made a choice, before God and our family that we would work through those issues, and made a promise that no matter what, we would find a way to work it out. We knew right off the bat that marriage isn’t all “rainbows and unicorns”, so we were prepared to put up a fight when needed! Our love, our family, and our relationship was greater than any other issues that may come arise.
In honor of the big 5 coming up, I wanted to share with you all my Top 5 ways to be a Good Wife. They are each steps that I personally take almost everyday to make sure that our relationship stays healthy, god driven, and strong. I truly believe that even if you are having a rough season in your own marriage (because let’s face it… it does happen), if you take these 5 steps… it will save your relationship.
#1. God FIRST!- “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”- Matthew 6:33
I know that many of you have heard, “God 1st, Family 2nd, Work 3rd”… this is the absolute NUMBER ONE key to a successful marriage. Not only do we put GOD first, but we also pray together AND talk about our faith! Throughout seasons in our lives, our faith can truly change. So when talking about a issue (for example political) we can find that our opinions change too depending on where our faith lies. We have learned so much about each other, and our LORD through discussing the Word. As a wife, I pray for my husband everyday. He is worth praying for!
#2. Communication- “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” -Psalm 19:14
On my wedding day, my father was talking to me about what he feels is important in a successful marriage. Communication is of huge importance. If you’re having a rough day, or even having a day full of amazing blessings… discussing it with your husband is KEY to opening up dialog that he will come closer to understanding you. Also, if you have decisions to make, it should be a conversation between you that results in a conclusive choice that BOTH of you are comfortable with. If one of you isn’t “ok” with it.. you rehash a game plan until you are!
#3. Date each other!- “I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.” -ECCLESIASTES 3:12-13
Dating doesn’t end when the “I DO’s” happen! We make a point to go on a date AT LEAST once a month! It is important for us to take the time with just the two of us… to communicate, to bond, and to just be in the moment together. So often our lives get crazy busy… and it can feel like we don’t have the time, but we MAKE IT HAPPEN. If if funds are hard that month, there are even FREE dates out there that can allow for a great time. A relationship needs to grow, and have FUN while doing it!
#4. Build him up. -“Do not forget to rejoice, for hope is always just around the corner. Hold up through the hard times that are coming, and devote yourselves to prayer.” – Romans 12:12
While it is so important to work on our own self-esteems, whose opinion do you think matters most when we look at ourselves? Our significant others! To me, if I hear a compliment from my husband, it means the world to me! He is the only person I want to impress… his opinion means the most to me! So build him up, just as much as he builds you up! Tell him things like, “I’m so grateful for all the hard work you do to provide for our family.” or “Your bum looks good in those pants!” Whatever the compliment, he deserves just as much as you do! Applaud your husband with words of affirmation, YOU are his biggest cheerleader!
#5. Sex!- “Let your manhood be a blessing; rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight.” -Proverbs 5:18-19
Ok, the dreaded topic! I know that word makes some people feel uncomfortable… but the truth is, GOD created this wonderful thing called SEX. He gave it to us as a gift to have the chance to have a 2nd form of communication with our husbands, a way to grow your relationship and bond in ways that you aren’t able to with others. In a marriage, there is such a powerful sentiment in the fact that YOU are the ONLY person who has that time with your husband. You and you alone are gifted this time. And this time can really bring you closer to each other in emotional ways as well. It can be as traditional, or as fun as you want! Within healthy guidelines… it’s a refresher to remind you of the love you always had.
In our 5 years, we have had 2 babies, 4 homes, new jobs, happiness and disappointments. So many times people can look at ‘make it- or break it’ scenarios and say, “why is this relationship important?”. Where you take it after that, is up to you! We don’t have a fairy-tale marriage, no one does… but we put our marriage priority among the hard seasons, and continue to grow. We made a choice… and we aren’t considering other options!