Everywhere we look there are articles saying, “Slow down Mom!” and “Enjoy every moment!”. But coming from a Mom who is busy, it isn’t that easy! I can’t just clear my work schedule, or my household schedule to create time! I can’t just say the magic words and have an extra 2 hour pop up on my already scribbled up agenda. And quite frankly, I AM GETTING SO TIRED of feeling the pressure that I am NOT spending enough time with my kids.
Listen, we love our children. They are suuuuch blessings, and everyday I see them, I am reminded that they are only little for so long. In those moments that I can snuggle them up and get down on the floor to play some Lego building mania, I know that they are the most important accomplishment I will ever make in life. I embrace that. I do!
But within those precious moments, I am also thinking in the back of my mind… the recent blogger or book I read about how “we shouldn’t be busy when they are little, and should embrace each moment MORE.” This is where my struggle comes from. The consent and surrounding pressure of not slowing down enough. It’s not the worry that I can’t keep up with the Pinterest Moms, or the fashionable Moms, or the “Perfect Moms”. Let’s face it, at one time or another WE will all have snot on our shirt when we walk thru the grocery store. We ALL have a time where we have to tell ourselves to slow down and embrace the moment.
I understand it is nice to be reminded that we aren’t alone in our busy life, but we also don’t need the added pressure that we aren’t slowing down enough! The reality is, we can be busy, and still be a good Mom’s. Whether you are a working Mom, or a stay-at-home Mom… it’s the same struggle. We ALWAYS worry that we aren’t good enough! THAT is the struggle.
I am here to tell you. We are good enough! We are surviving day-to-day with little ones, or even grown ones, who do think of us everyday and are grateful even without words to express it. They look at us, and know that we will be there, loving them.. until the end of days. And that is enough for them.
So what do we do now? I think it all means that we all need to take the time to evaluate our schedules. If they are something we are OK with, full or empty… then take a deep breath, and keep on keepin’ on! Because that is what works for us.
So all you Busy Moms, what do we do to keep ourselves balanced?
Well, I think that the first step to balance is to make sure that even with your full calendar that you take a minimum of 15 minutes everyday. Find some hidden moments of quiet somewhere in your schedule. Whether it’s between meetings, or you set your alarm 30 minutes before everyone else in the house wakes up? Go for an unplugged walk, pray, and have quiet… watch the sun rise! Or enjoy a cup of coffee on a comfy chair in the quiet. Take this time to be with yourself, listen to your own thoughts, and also to be with the Lord. You could even sneak away when your kiddos are enjoying their 30 minute screen time. Take that 30 minutes to write to a friend, read some scripture, take a shower, or anything that is uplifting for you! They are YOUR few minutes of peace. There are so many pressures to make sure you are spending quality time with your kids, which of course I think is of high importance. But you also need to spend some quality time with yourself. You deserve it! Enjoy it!
Another way I think we can continue to keep our schedules balanced and raise well-loved kiddos, is to not be afraid to ask for this dreaded four letter word. H-E-L-P. It is not shameful to ask for help! Between family or friends, your partner, etc… there is always someone who can trade babysitting or help out with the dishes sometimes. This one was hard for me to do at first. I felt like if I asked for help, I would be failing at my job as a housewife/ mom. But that is so far from the truth! If we continue to try to hold all of these balls to juggle, somewhere along the pathway we are going to drop something. And that is an even harder concept to forgive ourselves for than asking for help.
When we moved to our new house it wasn’t just by chance that we found it. My new next door neighbor told me about it and THEN we fell in love with it. It just so happens that she is one of my best friends! For the first few weeks we were both sort of hard on ourselves to NOT be too quick to ask each other for help. (aside from her awesome painting skills) We didn’t want to feel like we were taking advantage of each other. But then one day, it hit us… would we have asked the other to watch our kiddos, or for an extra cup of milk if we weren’t living next door? Of course! She is my best friend… duh! So when once we both got over that fear, we have been able to help each other out immensely! This has been a huge help for us both.
Had we not gotten over our perfect selves we could have missed out on this amazing opportunity of being able to depend on each other. What’s that saying?
“It takes a village.”
We may think that we are Super Mom’s because we have done such an amazing job at keeping ours schedule full, and keeping our kids alive. But the truth is, there will be a time when we will need help. And keep in mind… that by asking for help, we are showing a visual to our children that it is OK to ask for help!
So why do we let all these pressures tell us what makes us a “good Mom”? Ultimately what matters is if you can answer yes to these questions.. then you are doing it right.
- Are your kids happy? Truly happy?
- Is your partner happy? Truly happy?
- Are YOU happy? Truly…. in your heart, spirit, and mind happy?
We can’t let others tell us what is “right” for our families. Only we know that. We know when we see their smiles, and their “I love you’s”… That we are succeeding.
Keep doing what works for you Momma. Keep loving those babies with everything you have, and keep on keepin’ on! You will have days where you feel like you are totally failing at this. But, someday all the pieces will fall together perfectly and you will have nothing but peace about how you did things.
I pray for you everyday.
Love, Another Busy Mom